JWG's Done and Not Begun April 21 & 22, 2011

Zwerglipatch  April 21, 2011  9:25 p.m.

Today was good for business. It was not good for Dad Meyer. He is again in the hospital. René and Roy are with him. He complained of heart pain and asked to go this afternoon. The cardiologist was going to place two more stents right away. Alas, Dad developed a fever. The rigamarole begins anew.

This morning, Dad was working downstairs. He was his usual slow self. We did not hear any complaints. I doubt if he will be home for a few days. I doubt...

I am listening to the Met Opera’s telecast of Puccini’s “La Fanciulla del West”. Opera makes one’s problems seem petty. Not that I, myself, have any problems per se. My day is now done. Tomorrow. I shan’t even think of tomorrow. Today, with its music and drama and craft, is sufficient for now.

Zwerglipatch  April 22, 2011  5:57 a.m.

Mornings are now light enough to write without the aid of artificial light. Believe it, or not, I could be outside weeding! I prefer this early morning scribbling. I thought I would never get to it  yesterday.

René and Roy came back at eleven last night. Dad Meyer was in the emergency room waiting for a bed on the cardiology floor. I assume he will be in hospital for the weekend. Roy is quite right in worrying that anesthesia will throw his father’s intestine’s off and, most probably, delay any recovery. I, myself, worry if Dad Meyer wishes to recover. His stoicism, this time, speaks volumes.

In New Hampshire, Dad Meyer was around two couples (My Parents , Aunt and Uncle) who, as most elders do, speak of how long they have been together. I tried to change the subject. Dad Meyer’s gloomy face did not succumb to tears; however, I could see his horror of being alone. The Meyers, as I have said, had just celebrated their sixty-second anniversary. They were proud of their accomplishment. Those of us who have reached half of that milestone know that there are times when it is not the easiest; what is easy is loving someone. When love is reciprocated, time is endless. For Dad Meyer, a door was slammed shut in his face. No earthly power can open reality of being with his Love side-by-side. He was spoiled. Being spoiled makes one depressed when things don’t go as planned. This may sound odd, but, Dad Meyer expected to be first to leave this Earth. He wanted to leave Mom well-off with money in the bank. He now has money in the bank and finds no solace in this fact. Money is not everything.

Will Dad Meyer be able to start his Life anew without his partner? No one wishes to answer this question. We hope. What more can we do? Yes, we support him. We guide him. We try to lighten his spirits. Dad Meyer, himself, will have to start over — and learn how to take care of himself. This is what he never had to do. Mom Meyer did it all. “All” being the act of living a life in the comfort of having food and a clean bed and washed clothes and, well, everything one does. Dad paid the bills and filled his car with gasoline. And, worried, needlessly, about money.

I often speak to all I talk to of how we must learn from the elders around us. For me, I am learning how not to live. I am learning what not to do. I wish I could change this attitude I have. I wish I knew more people who did not make mistakes. Is this the way? We all make mistakes. It is how we correct mistakes which matters. It is the attitude we have to attain. An attitude of “sobeit” and learn and get on with Life.