Health & Fitness
JWG's Necessity June 2 & 3, 2012
Wherein JWG & René come out as a Proud Married Couple.
Zwerglipatch June 2, 2012 8:29 a.m. EDT
On this rainy day, I am embarking on a kaleidoscopic journey — a continuation of our personal history of living as a gay couple. I have gone through the many pins and magnets René and I have collected. Last night, we went through a few of our many photo albums. Today, I shall go up in the attic to get down more of what I have saved. (René is not a collector. He would have tossed most of what I am going to post on my Facebook page. That is our difference. Fortunately, for me, René seems amused.)
What amuses me when I look at all I have saved, I am brought, instantly, into the past moment. The physical object, whether it be a photo, pin, or periodical, lived the moment with me. René and I have lived many singular moments. I dare say our love has never faltered. The hiccups, gasps, and wheezes may have stalled us from realizing love’s effect, yet, sharing laughter and many bucolic moments made our moments together into a granite sturdier than The Old Man of the Mountain. We have reached a peak upon which we are building a beautiful Home to hold our personal history.
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Zwerglipatch June 3, 2012 11:04 a.m. EDT
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Having become open about my Life as a married gay man — to a man — is an unheard of pleasure to many people who have not a clue that what I feel for René is not unusual. Today, I heard a phone conversation a young man had with his mother. He told her he was gay. She asked, “How do you know?” He asked his mother, “How do you know you love men?” Her answer was, “Because, I do.” The young man’s reply was simple — “I do, too.” He told his mom that he had had strong feelings towards boys since he was five. Growing up, he heard the vitriol from friends and family. He told his mom, and he was correct, that he couldn’t have a wife and children and, in the long run, hurt them. He knew the strength of his feelings. He knew, deep down, that they could, and would, never go away. His mother “gave him his love when he was born, and, will always love him.” The young man’s relief was instant. He can now get about his life with honesty. And, pride.
This month, June, is now known as Pride Month around much of this World where Women and Men are living, and loving, out in the open. No longer do many of us hide behind closed doors and shutters. We are able to walk side-by-side down the street. Some streets, not enough, we walk down, we can walk hand-in-hand without feeling that some person, seething with societal hate, will thrash and bash our happiness. This fear still exists. Changing societal views is slow. I, myself, feel that many people who can make a difference in attitudes do what they can to thwart change. Fear is unfounded. My thought is that fear of oneself and what one personally feels, and thinks, holds back many a person to accept others’ happiness. Are they jealous of others’ love? Perhaps. Love can make us healthy, happy people. My love, and pride, is overflowing.
Pride. This prideful word has been a mysterious element in all my life’s moments. I was continuously bombarded with it in all I did, lived, and loved. At one point, for me, being proud meant nothing. I was told that with my accomplishments I should “certainly feel proud”. I did not. The meaning of this word escaped me. I had no “pleasure” and “deep satisfaction” in my many escapades. In my mind and heart, I knew that there could be more. Patience was a word to which I could relate. Today, by being patient, and accepting, and loving — by sharing totally and freely — I can use the word “Proud”.
I am proud that I have a person who absolutely adores me for what I am. And, he has me. We have no secret. We accept without having the urge to change. One can evolve, yes. In the past thirty-two years, René and I have both evolved to be more open with those around us.
At our home, which we call Zwerglipatch Cottage, in Hauppauge, here on another island, we have neighbors who accept us with much Aloha. These people are held in a special place in our hearts.
In Manhattan, I expected, and did have, such neighbors. I was reticent about leaving the comfort I found on Manhattan Island. We left Manhattan, our home, in 2004. For me, it was a sad moment. However, soon enough, I felt that my new neighborhood was just as good as Manhattan. René and I created a park in our own backyard around which I wander and sit. Yes, I do miss watching people, and, the surprises around each corner in Manhattan. Yet, having the Zwerglipatch Gardens, and the opportunity to travel and see this World, and being comfortable with my home and neighborhood, suffices to fill any emptiness that leaving Manhattan may have festered within me.
I never missed New Hampshire which was, and is, my home state and where I spent my first twenty-two years. I knew that I could never fulfill my aspirations to live freely in the State whose motto is “Live Free or Die”. I did not want to die. In New Hampshire, my soul would have died. This is sad to say, but, true. Unfortunately, in these States, my situation is not unique. There are many who do not flee the comfort of a nest — even when there is no understanding and acceptance. In truth, if René and I weren’t accepted in Hauppauge by our neighbors, I doubt if we would be living here today.
René and I live freely in the open. We could never hide. Our pride as a unit can be seen on our faces. We have much for which to be thankful. Our Lives have become a Life. We don’t think of sharing due to the fact we share without thinking. We now realize that this isn’t always the case between two people. We do what is right for the two of us.
This June, I intend to share and be more open. If people do not know that couples such as René and I exist, how can we ever expect to be accepted? By acceptance, I mean: Liked.