Jameson is Not Just an Adult Film Star

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:  alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." – Alex Levine

I make it a point to purposely remember very little, so the blanket phrase, "I'm sorry, I really don't remember," absolves me of responsibility for a gaggle of uncomfortable situations. Really, though, lately, there's this memory –- a mishmash of sound and images -- that  keeps smacking me on the inside of my head lately. I don't understand it.

So it was the '80s, and after our small group of early 20s-something punk rockers would finish unsuccessfully prowling the goth clubs like Spize looking for our Siouxsies, we'd often stop at a diner. Hauppauge? I think it's still there, and called the Hauppauge Palace Diner. Yes, there's something in code there. Figure it out.

Stop.

[In addition to the Super Powers I've already touched on a bit more in-depth --  my Stunning Inability to Properly Judge the Passage of Time and Amazing Power of Invisibility --  I also have this magnetism that I've only alluded to here before.  It's so strong – hang around me long enough and you'll admit it's undeniable --  that I've even given it a special name: "My Magnetism."

The way My Magnetism works is this: I'll tell a friend I that feel  I'm going to run into someone I haven't seen in a while, and that she'll offer me her phone number -- and it happens.  The best way I can describe it is that for  my whole life it's felt that sometimes another person and I are connected by a very long, weak string, and that the other party is being gently pulled toward me --  one fun explanation for this could have something to do with the astrological Venus-Mars Conjunction I've mentioned in past posts. A more scientific explanation is maybe my subconscious is somehow parsing external clues and yacking up a conclusion in a way that seems almost miraculous. Or, I could be laughing my butt off, typing with one hand while holding a rubber chicken in the other].  

Stop.

[Back to our story].

At the diner we'd often by served this waitress that my friends seemed to think fell prey to My Magnetism, although we didn't call it "My Magnetism" then – I think  it was my friend Glenn who used to call it something like "She Likes Stupid Assholes." 

Wow... writing this, I think her name was Karen. It's weird what one's brain is capable of.

So, I'm always the slightly weird guy in the group, and Karen seemed to like me. She was cute, a little older -- much closer to 30 than I was. And, eventually, Karen began telling me how cute I was. And how different from other people I was. And how sensitive I was.

[Flattery is my Kryptonite -- it renders me completely powerless. Backrubs are like Kryptonite to the tenth power].

"Sensitive? Yeah?" I half-muttered, half-drunkenly.
"Yes," she answered. "You can't deny it. I see it in those blue eyes of yours."
"Nope. You have soulless and sensitive confused."
"C'mon...you're sensitive." She wasn't going to leave it alone.
"Sensitive? How? What do you mean?" I was pressing her.
"Well... I know you cry, for instance. You actually care. I can see it in you."
"So, basically... you're calling me a pussy."
"No, no," she laughed, "you're just SENSITIVE. DIFFERENT."
"Okay, okay, you got me. You're right, I did cry today!"
She arched her eyebrows, searching my face as though she were suddenly perplexed.
"You cried today? REALLY?"
"Yes. I cried today."
"What did you cry about?"
"I cried for humanity."

Rimshot.

[Unfortunately, it was the truth.]

***

A big piece of me is Irish, this is a blog about alcohol and it's St. Patrick's Day weekend. I'm feeling too lazy to delve into the origins of the holiday this time, but I feel like drinking, so I'm gonna mention some Irish stuff. Hey… how long do I have to torture this gnome before he leads me to his pot o' gold? You're supposed to catch a gnome, right? Anyone?  

Jameson Irish Whiskey
Jameson first appeared in Dublin in the 1780s, and quickly became the-best selling Irish Whiskey in the world. Jameson is powerful but surprisingly smooth, with a slight woody sweetness to it; there are also several Jameson Reserve Whiskies worth tasting. Adult film star Jenna Jameson was so inspired by the taste of this whiskey that she took its name as her own.

Bailey's Irish Cream
A liqueur that combines cream (duh!), a blend of spirits and Irish whiskey, nothing quite matches Bailey's for its combination of taste, texture and burn.  In addition to the Original Bailey's you can now also purchase Mint Chocolate, Caramel or Coffee Bailey's. The flavors are very light – can an already perfect product be made even more perfect? Yes, especially when mixed with coffee or ice cream.

Irish Mist
Irish Mist is an Irish liqueur that blends Irish Whiskey, and allegedly the first commercially-available whiskey liqueur produced in Ireland, starting in the 1940s. The liqueur combines Irish Whiskey, spices and honey in a recipe that's allegedly 1000 years old. You can taste the whiskey. You can taste the honey. You can taste the whiskey again…. May I please have some more?

***

So, yeah, it's St. Patrick's Day weekend, and the beautiful town (and populace!) of St. James will be hosting the Annual St. Patrick's Day Parade, Saturday, March 17 at 1pm. Stop by Grape Culture at 4pm for an Irish Mist tasting, and have a few drinks at some of the local bars.

Stop.

Keep the backrubs coming.