The Tradition, Interrupted

Stop.

[This is a NeuroLinguistic Programming technique called "An Interrupt." Had I used an interrupt in person, I might have clapped, stomped my foot, or sneezed in an attempt to rapidly bring my "target"  -- in this case, YOU -- into an altered state of conciousness and subliminal receptivity. In theory, right now your brain is sitting at a traffic light, awaiting my instructions.]

Listen.

[Vonnegut used that one a lot -- same premise. Funny... Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse Five and I both have issues with time. Coincidence?]

Stop.

[The motor is still running. "You are getting sleeeepyyyy... " Rub the back of neck. Tell me something no one else knows about you. As long as you're not a dude -- not that there's anything wrong with that].

"So Rich," Lori asked me, "What are you gonna be for Halloween?"

"Dead," I muttered.

[Little did I know how close I'd come to fulfilling that prediction in the next two weeks].

Stop.

[I call it The Tradition. A typical exchange might go something like this]:

"So, Rich, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Carrie is shopping for wine at in St. James. She is blonde and sunny. We're both Leos. We actually share the same birthdate.

"Have I told you about The Tradition?" I asked, ready to burst.

"Mmmm... I'm not so sure..."

"Basically," I explained, "I do the same thing for every holiday. Imagine a dark room. I'm curled up on the couch in a fetal position. Weeping. On occasion, words that sound like 'Please, just take me already' bubble up through the sound of a grown man sobbing. I practice The Tradition on every holiday -- Thanksgiving, Arbor Day, Barry White's Birthday, whatever. It's only been in recent years that the rest of the family has learned to ignore me while they watch the Macy's Parade on television."

Carrie isn't sure if she should be laughing or not.

Stop.

[At its core, "The Tradition" is a performance piece designed for an audience of one -- ME. But, it's an exercise with a point; on the most obvious level, it forces somebody to consider one -- VERY dark --  alternate take on the Holiday Season. And, just maybe, that allows some real light in. Yes, it's tomfoolery, but its message is thus: Be really thankful for what you have].

Stop.

***

There seems to be a lot of confusion around Holiday Season about what wines complement light fare like turkey and ham. At this point, there are no hard and fast  "rules"... you enjoy what you enjoy, although big booming California Cabernets would certainly over power turkey.

Some suggestions with dinner...


Mark West Pinot Noir

This California Pinot Noir is a nice balance of sweet and smoke. Turkey? Yup. Ham? Oh yeah. Mark West is one of the benchmarks in its price range; if you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for?
 

Cupcake Red Velvet

Red Velvet, from California, is a smooth blend of Zinfandel, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon and Petite Sirah. It's lighter in body but rich and deep in flavor -- you might even taste some chocolate! Cupcake works on all levels -- have it with lighter meats, then wash down chocolate cake with it.
 

7 Deadly Zins

7 Deadly Zins is a Zinfandel blended with Petite Syrah and Petite Verdot, and always an excellent value. Rich, juicy, deep and jammy, this California wine delivers an alcohol payload of 15%. 7 Deadly Zins is consistently excellent -- in this case, think of it as a substitute for cranberry sauce.
 

Chalk Hill Estate Chardonnay

Mmmm... Chalk Hill is still the best Chardonnay I've had so far. Smooth and elegant, the Estate Chardonnay will describe in vivid flavors some of the stylistic differences between wines at higher and lower end price points. Perfect.
 

Cupcake Chardonnay

Bright, inexpensive and fun, Cupcake Chardonnay is perfect for crisp salads, and makes for a relatively neutral background for poultry, ham, pork, etc.


[A quick aside here... now again exists where Bin 107 had been, on Route 25A in St. James. Chef Phillippe Corbert is again on site, and Eddie G. is behind the bar. In some ways, all is right with the world].


Some suggestions for dessert...

Duck Walk Blueberry Port

Made from Maine blueberries, the Blueberry Port is one of the signature items from Long Island's Duck Walk Vineyards. It's sweet in an "I've always wanted to try blueberry cough syrup" kind of way, but that's not a bad thing -- this is great stuff! The alcohol content is 19%, which means that warm n' fuzzy feeling you have is more than just an injection of post-turkey L-tryptophan. Pairing Blueberry Port with dark chocolate reminds me of Joyva chocolate-covered jelly rings. Pour some on ice cream!
 

Polka Dot Riesling

Polka Dot is an inexpensive white wine -- a German Riesling, which on the whole makes it sweeter than its drier French counterpart. Polk Dot offers lower alcohol (under 10%), and a few different product lines in this vein, some sweet, some medium dry. The secret is out –- ladies love the Polka Dot so much that I may just change my name to Polka Dot Riesling. Serve chilled.


Osprey's Dominion Spice Wine

This red wine from Peconic's Osprey's Dominion is widely sought after during the holiday season. It's meant to be served heated, and boasts flavors of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Warm your tummy, warm your heart.


Frost Bitten Ice Riesling

Ice wines are sweet dessert wines that are served chilled, and although Upstate New York wines tends to dominate this category. Frost Bitten, from Washington State's Yakima Valley, is a rare find. Your taste buds will sing with delight, and it's half the price of comparable New York State ice wines.

Stop.

***

[On Wednesday, November 9, I found myself marveling at how dark The Tradition section of this blog installment could possibly become, so I set it aside for a bit... I went to Trivia Night at John Harvard's on Wednesday with Nadine, Rob, and Ken, The Most Eligible Bachelor In St. James and Its Surrounding Areas. As it was November, I expected the beginning of my horrible Annual Headcold when it hit me Wednesday night.

What I wasn't prepared for, though, was going home and sleeping for almost 36 hours straight. I remember having one dream in particular... There's a scene in the film Papillon, where Steve McQueen hallucinatess while in solitary confinement. He runs in slow-motion toward some old friends, but stops once he realizes they are dead.

For some reason, I was so alarmed by thoughts of this that I ran in to see Dr. Bruce Thompson in St. James. Thompson got me to admit myself to Saint Catherine's where I was diagnosed with pneumonia and underlying COPD. Apparently, my carbon dioxide levels were almost three times what they should have been. If the Steve McQueen dream hadn't wrenched me out of my slumber, I might have died in my sleep].

Stop.

I'm writing this from Saint Catherine's, and am anxious to get home.

We're going full-force into Holiday Season, but for the time being I don't really feel like curling up in a fetal position. Or weeping, for that matter. Faced with my own mortality and the very real possiblility I might die a virgin, I'm giving it a break until Groundhog Day.

So much for Tradition.